Revelation

On one of the network meetings where I went two weeks ago, I met a great man, Joel. We chatted a bit, talked about his job, about the things I am doing here. Very untypically for an American he asked me why I am using a cane. I answered to him and we started a conversation about spirits and also god. So I met the first Jew in my entire life. I told him and apologized to him. After that we lay in each other’s arms, hugging and both with tears in the eyes. Joel told me, that there is no need for me to feel bad or sorry, even to apologize at all, but for me it was the only way to deal with it. To tell him, how deeply sorry I feel, what WE did to THEM. Even when it weren’t my grandparents at least, they were these days to young to vote. It was a very emotional situation.

Usually my generation is a bit pissed of the weird view of THE Germans. A few Americans asked me, what are we learning in our history lessons and were very surprised that we learn that much about WWII, and that it is not only in one separate period being taught but years over years, again and again. So most of my friends and I are thinking: Yes, we totally agreeing, this mustn’t ever happen again, but please stop blaming us, the 3rd or 4th generation after again and again. We got the point.

Until now, I didn’t got a chance to be connected to real living Jewish people, their culture, their way of thinking. I mean, playing one of Tevje’s daughters in Anatevka, singing “Hava nagila”, seeing “Schindler’s list” to many times, visiting concentration camps and the museums, doesn’t count at all. I realized that I have many questions, a kind of accumulated needs to learn more. To be connected far away from the history lessons, the theoretical thinking and discussions over people who are not there anymore and if, very reclusive. I went to school with Catholics, Muslims, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Baptism, New Apostolic, and many more - but there were NO Jews. Never. For me it is like another piece of a mosaic stone to learn from each other and to understand each other more. An overwhelming experience.

We changed email addresses and all other contact data. When I drove home I was thinking the whole time of this wonderful man. I looked him up on Facebook, Twitter and received an email the same night of him where he invited me to join him in his Synagogue:

Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:12:15

Dear Anika,

It was a joy and a delight to meet you! I'd like to invite you to come with us to our Tora study ("Tora" is Hebrew for the first 5 books of the Bible). It meets Saturdays at Beth Am Synagogue--www.betham.org--on Arastradero Road in Palo Alto. (26790 Arastradero Rd; Los Altos Hills, CA 94022). There's light food--bagels and spreads, and some fruit, and coffee--from 8:30; the lesson begins at 9. We usually get there at 8:45 or so. It's in the lower building on the campus--easy to find.

Let me know if you decide to come!

Warmly,
Joel

On Jul 1, 2010, at 11:06 AM,

Dear Joel

I would love to join you on Saturday. At the moment I am a bit ill, got a cold.

I am asking for the dress code: I have no idea what is common there?

Anika

Thu, 1 Jul 2010 11:55:07

Great! Sorry to hear you are ill.

Dress is informal.

Warmly,
Joel

Seriously I did a bit research on the internet how Tora studies are working, what kind of cloths you are wearing and how to behave at least. This are things, nobody is telling you. I learned so many things about “how-to-behave-in-a-mosque”, “how-to-behave-in-a-church”, “how-to-behave-in-the-Vatican”, “how-to-behave-when-you-are-meeting-the-Dalai-Lama” but there was no lessons about that. I mean it is so strange. We slaughtered almost a whole nation of this poor people (not even killed them, no!), got hours and hours of history lessons about that, but there is no connection to them. Only the harm we did to them, only the bad things, but where are the lessons to understand them, their religion, their way of thinking? I got lessons about the Islam, about Buddhism, Hinduism, Catholic Church (I am a Protestant) but nothing about Jews. Ok, I know, the Tora is “almost” this what the Christians are using as the “Old Testament” (if you want to become a Chrstian priest you have to study and learn Hebrew, Latin and old Greek to understand the original text), their holy day is the Saturday (Sabbath), it begins Friday evening and goes till Saturday evening (something to do with the first star in the evening, sunset), I know what kosher is, but that is everything. I mean the closest Jew to people can’t be “Krusty the Clown” from the Simpsons whose father is a Rabbi. All my knowledge about Jews comes mostly from Anatevka. It is embarrassing to every Jew that we don’t know so less from them.

So this morning I drove to the Synagogue. I felt completely lost when I came in there. Somebody asked me (after the usual: “I like your bag” "Thank you, her name is Emma") who I was looking for and guided me to Joel. There I also met his awesome wife, Dalia.

The first part of this convention was reading a short text of the Tora and discuss over it. They gave everybody a book where the text was in English and Hebrew (very nice cause my Hebrew is lost over the years I learned it one year in school). The book was backwards: page number one was the 1st from the down side. The text was a part of  Genesis 17,9 . The female Rabbi explained different points of view what this short text can mean, how to think about it. She also explained the Hebrew words, did a bit Kabbala. he community asked questions or gave her their point of view. The amazing thing for me was, that they brought examples out of other religions (Ying and Yang), Physics (magnetism, polarities), normal life and many more - things I didn’t expected in such an ambience, even very practical things. Everybody was free to share his own thoughts to the others, stupid or not, far from the original topic or very close to it and they all talked and discussed about it. It was like looking from total different directions to one thing. I got a feeling like there is not an absolute, true and only interpretation, like the Christian church is telling us so often. They started with a song, ended with a song and with a blessing – which was told in Hebrew and English, but I definitely know the same, really the same one, from the protestant church. (4. Mose 6,24-26). We copied it obviously.

 

Joel asked Dalia after this, if we could stay for the service too. Usually they are going only to the Tora study. So we stayed. This was also very new to me. Really in the begin I had a kind of very emotional sacred feeling. A kind of: Yes, this is right. I belong here. It feels good.

(Earlier in my life, I went to a Sub-Protestant church with friends of mine and the feeling there was: Nononononononono!!! It felt completely wrong to me) 

But there was no kind of that feeling. I felt very touched by all of this. It was mixed of English and Hebrew, again I got a book (backwards) where all the words were written down in both languages, the Hebrew also was translated into the phonetic words of it. Neither my English is fast enough nor my ability to read and speak this phonetic Hebrew very fast, so I tried to read and watch at lot.

Maybe this isn’t right but in my opinion the whole ceremony was in 3 parts: in the first part the Rabbi and another woman with a guitar were singing with the community together the prayers out of the books, most of the people could sing this, answering them, without even looking in the book in a very fast tempo in my opinion. I wished it would be a bit slower, that it is more a kind of holy or more special feeling. During one of this song-prayers they gave us little percussion instruments, to celebrate rhythmic with them during some songs. This was a very happy feeling, a real celebration. In the middle they brought the Tora and read out of it, really like in movies we all have seen before. The text was of Moses Death, Numbers 27:12-23 / Deuteronomy 31-34:12  and she gave us all, after she had read the original Hebrew phrase, a piece of paper, written centuries later which was read by the audience and discussed again, like in the part before this service. After this, we sang again songs and also thought of ill or dead people. In the end we built long rows by hugging each other, while singing again, swinging with the music, whishing each other “Schabbat Schalom”.
In the end there was dealt out wine and bread, and also this time I could celebrate this with them, be a part of it. It felt right and not in that way I would betray my own believe. And I wondered again, how similar and even how far (in a way of open mind) it is to the church I belong to.

After the ceremony I was introduced to many people also to the Rabbi. There I told again, how I met Joel and what kind of feelings I – still – have. The thought of the need to apologize, to be so sorry of all, to feel very guilty. A feeling, that when I tell them: “I am German, you are the fist Jews that I met in my entire life, I need to apologize for everything” that it would be fair, that they build a huge fire to burn me down outside. They laughed about it. They have no harsh feelings about “the Germans”. They are not judging, but I think, everybody of them have lost family through us.

After this I went with Joel and Dalia to a wonderful street café, were we talked all noon. I had so many questions about their lives, their way of thinking, acting, behavior, the do’s and don’t’s, how they met, what is allowed, what not, how they deal with it and many more things. Even how they raise their children, what they believe what happens after you are dead, what is completely different what I am thinking. They are such a sweet couple, they are taking care of each other, holding constantly hands like teenagers. When they looking at the other or are talking about the other you can really see how deeply they are connected. Little Amor-Angels are flying around their heads, little hearts appear in the air around them and they have sprinkling stars in their eyes.

I really enjoyed talking to them, this conversation and the fun they brought to me this afternoon! I am looking forward to see them again!